Podcasting a wide net. (Part 1)
In this post, I discuss my favourite games and comedy podcasts.
Ever-growing influence
While the podcast genre has been around in some form since the 1980s, it was only with the advent of iPods and the prevalence of programs like iTunes in the mid 2000s that the term "Podcast" became more commonplace. This adaptation of what is essentially "talk radio" was really popularised by the comedian Ricky Gervais, as he chopped up parts of his radio shows to make little half-hour chunks that were sold for 95p on iTunes. These podcasts formed the backbone of what later became "The Ricky Gervais Show", and even "An Idiot Abroad".
Even with the rising popularity of Podcasts, it took me a couple of years to get interested. The first podcast I can recall looking for and downloading is probably Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's "Smodcast" where the directer and producer of films such as "Clerks", "Mallrats" and "Dogma" get together and talk about stuff. The word "stuff" might sound vague, but that's what the show was. You never knew what they were going to talk about, although "sharks & nazis" became a common theme on the show eventually. This is largely due to a combination of Smith's fear of being eaten by a shark, and Godwin's Law.
From there, I fell in love with podcasts. In fact, from doing a little bit of research for this post, I have found and downloaded the first episodes I could find of 4 different podcasts! I currently have over 70 unheard episodes of podcasts on my iPod, which is something that drives my OCD crazy, but on the other hand, I just can't say no when the opportunity presents itself to be entertained by something for free.
That's right, most podcasts I listen to are 100% free. All you need is an ipod or you can even just listen to them from your computer or phone if you like. While many podcasts subsidise their costs with in-podcast adverts or the occasional Patreon voluntary donation service. It can take a bit of time to find a podcast you like, especially in areas where there's so much coverage that it can be hard to weed out the bad from the good.
Podcasts are great for nerds like me
For example, it won't come as a surprise to any of you that I love videogames and that I listen to gaming related podcasts to catch up on news about the industry, hear interviews and often just enjoy listening to other nerds clowning around. The problem is that because the games media are tech-savvy, they know the power of podcasts and it means that finding the good podcasts can be a real challenge. Of course, personal preference is king here, with factors such as "who do I already know I like?" and "how much time do I have to listen to an episode every week?" helping to form a decision. I really like the Giant Bombcast, but it tends to run over three hours, and that's a weekly show. I just don't have time to listen to that, even if it is funny. They also talk about wrestling way too much for me.
Three of my favourite members of the ever-rotating IGN UK Podcast Crew
Personally, I listen to the IGN network of podcasts, which offers numerous options, including weekly Playstation, Xbox & Nintendo podcasts, as well as some with wider scopes coming from their American, British and Australian teams. I love the UK podcast especially, as they cover more press events and movies than the other teams, but that may be my British sensibilities when it comes to humour and culture. They have also recently started running monthly podcasts called "Unfiltered" where IGN's Ryan McCafferey interviews the industry's most experienced and interesting developers. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who likes to know how their games are made. If you like talking to your friends about games, give IGN a try. It might be your thing.
Because I only have so much time, I now limit myself to just the IGN podcast network for gaming news, and I find that between the multiple podcasts they host, I am pretty well covered. When it comes to comedy however, I have a broad range of tastes and that makes comedy my second-most listened to genre of show.
Some of the world's funniest people make podcasts
So I mentioned Ricky Gervais and Smodcast at the top of the article, and it's certainly true that these shows helped to popularise the platform that is now a source of entertainment for millions around the world. Comedians like Richard Herring, Greg Proops, Paul F Tompkins and Peacock & Gamble all have established podcasts, and as a fan of stand-up and comedy in general, I love the ability to listen to free, often improvised comedy on a weekly basis. For any of my friends who enjoy comedy at the Fringe Festival in Edinburgh and are wondering if they should see a comic live, give Richard Herring's Edinburgh Fringe shows a shot (if he's attending the fringe, I don't know if he is this year) as he tends to have the best comics on his show, where they do a small set and an interview.
There are a few podcasts that easily bridge the gap between nerdy and comedy, and I guess it makes sense that I'd be a fan of that kinda crossover.
The Nerdist
The Nerdist Podcast is presented by Chris Hardwick of "At Midnight" TV fame. He is something of a stalwart member of the nerd community, and despite his obvious business savvy, he never fails to be affable, enthusiastic and funny when speaking to his guests. While he's a good host, the real strength of the show is the list of people he gets on his show. It's AAA people like Patrick Stewart, Iain McKellan, Ben Kingsley, Guillelmo Del Toro, Bryan Cranston, Nathan Fillion and many many more. There's a good chance that if you are a fanboy/fangirl of any sci-fi or fantasy franchise, he's had them on the show at least once. He is also able to get people to open up in a way that's quite uncommon, especially when they're probably used to shows like Jimmy Fallon or Conan, where they're being watched by a huge crowd.
There are sometimes very profound and moving emotional moments, which showcases how good Hardwick is at not only handling the awkward parts with uncommon sensitivity, but also how he is able to steer the conversation back to something more light-hearted eventually. I am compelled to mention the recent episode where he interviewed one of my all-time favourite actors Gary Oldman, and he allows him a moment to work through his feelings as he talks about his friendship with the recently departed David Bowie.
We Have Concerns
The pairing of Jeff Cannata and Anthony Carboni is one made in podcast heaven. Before I even get into what the show is actually about, the real selling point is the chemistry between the two presenters. As someone who podcasts myself, I appreciate the seemingly effortless flow of the show, with both presenters jumping in and out of improvising comedic sketches.
Ok, now that my shameless fanboying is out of the way, I will describe the show beyond the already self-explanatory title. These guys are nerds, and that means they like to learn about the world around them and the latest scientific breakthroughs, but that also means dealing with their anxieties about what is potentially going to kill them or ruin their lives. The topics run the gamut from "what are private companies going to do with my DNA?" to "when are they going to replace factory workers with robotic scorpion men?" Yeah, you can probably tell that hyperbole is a language these guys speak, and while Anthony is prone to outbursts of rage and confusion, Jeff is often the counter point who tries to calm him down with his sometimes infuriatingly positive outlook on life. #teamdadjoke
The Comedy Button
Ok, so while you could conceivably pass off the last two entries as "highbrow comedy" for the most part, TCB is definitely not that. Described by its hosts as "poker night with the guys", the show is a completely ridiculous and hilarious insight into the chat of five best friends (sometimes with extra guests) as they discuss everything from sex, to monster truck rallies and all sorts of stuff in between. This show is responsible for many an uncomfortable snorting laughter fit on public transport, as I try to stifle myself. I was lucky enough to get on board with this podcast at the beginning, so I know the tropes and running jokes that run through the show; "Ryan rarely talks", "Brian doesn't know much about history", "Scott is a well-to-do white guy", "Max is composed mainly of anime and pop-culture references" and "Anthony is a smelly hippy". Fortunately, knowledge of these caricatures isn't required to enjoy the show, and it also benefits from not relying on modern trends to follow what's going on, in fact these guys spend a lot of their time talking about the 80s and 90s, so people born in the 80s will likely enjoy their (what's the opposite of "rose tinted"?) nostalgia.
Despite the scatalogical and sometimes downright offensive nature of their comedy, it's always well conceived and it's never malicious. Their level of self-awareness and ability to confront their own faults is especially endearing, and it's been great to join them for the ride as they followed the very interesting career paths that they've all been on. Three of the crew work in games media, and you can catch two of them on IGN's podcast Beyond, while Anthony works in game development as a designer and Scott works for Lucasfilm, sometimes giving cool insights into his job there. There have also been heartbreaks on the show, and recently Brian has been very open about the pain his family are going through as his mother deals with late-stage cancer. This is a show that has a lot of soul, it's just that it's often buried underneath jokes about masturbation, eating junk food and playing with 80s action figures.
Fist Shark Marketing
Possibly the "weirdest" comedy I listen to, Fistshark Marketing is an improvised comedy show, performed by a trio of games industry bloggers and journalists; Jim Sterling, Conrad Zimmerman and Jonathan (Paulson) Holmes. I started listening to these guys on the old Destructoid videogame podcast before it all sort of disintegrated. This show is absurd, strange and ultimately quite a challenge to get into, but once you know the tone of the show and are able to roll with the content, it's hilariously funny.
Jim and Conrad play the roles of senior marketing executives, while Paulson is their confused and somewhat naive fresh recruit. The format tends to lend itself to a "fly on the wall" recording of three ten-minute meetings as the team discuss the latest catastrophe that they have to deal with. This ranges from Gordon Ramsey being abandoned on a desert island with a bunch of dogs for a new reality TV show, to the potential PR nightmare of having their client "The Zodiac Killer" being confused for Ted Cruz. If you want a silly, fun time then give Fist Shark a go.
The Bugle
Fans of the HBO show "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver" will be familiar with Oliver's distinctive comedic sensibilities. "The Bugle" is a time capsule of classic British comedy, featuring John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman. Unfortunately, John Oliver's success has made him far too busy to record new episodes, making it next to impossible for the show to keep going. It still releases the occasional piece of content, but for the most part it is winding down.
If you like your political satire with a healthy dose of the absurd, you'll love Zaltzman's work and I'd recommend seeking him out if that's your sorta thing.
Smodcast
Smodcast is the first Podcast I think I ever listened to, and the first thing that struck me was how open and unflinchingly honest the content was. If there's one thing Smith can do, it's rambling. He's got a 25 year career of movie-making anecdotes to look back on, as well as discussing his childhood and reviewing the painfully funny journals of "emo-Kev", his teenage self. Mosier is much more stoic, but the balance between (especially post-weed) Smith and the more restrained Mosier is one that leads to a great show.
As I mentioned before, sharks and nazis used to form the backbone of the show, but in recent years, the pair have shown their affection for Mosier's "home and native land" of Canada. The last episode I listened to compared to careers of Corey Hart and Bryan Adams, with their typical level of tongue-in-cheek speculation that Corey Hart hates Bryan Adams for stealing his spotlight, while Adams is aggressively apathetic to him. A real highlight of the show is their segment called "Scan-BC" where the pair react to twitter posts from a police scanner in British Columbia, where the crimes are largely small-town scuffles and disagreements.
While Smith has expanded his "Smodco" network to include numerous different shows, which are of varying quality and interest to myself, Smodcast remains the only one I'll listen to consistently. The chemistry of these two old friends sitting next to each other and chatting away is something that still entertains. Besides his stories about making movies, Smith is sometimes a little bit too open about his married life. You'll find yourself knowing things about him that will make you wince, but I understand that while he'll never take his shirt off, he will gladly talk about other personal habits.
Honourable Mentions
Allie Goertz & Julia Prescott's "Everything's Coming Up Podcast"
Next time,
In part 2, I will tell you about some of my favourite podcasts that have really opened my eyes to the world around me, discussing human interest stories, technological advancements and some of history's lesser told tales. Some are even teaching me how to write. All that and more, next time!
Stranger than many things, better than most.
No games for this post, but I've been watchin' stuff. Don't worry, there's no spoilers!
Just one example of the amazing fan-art that has appeared on the internet.
Stranger Things happened to me, and I loved it!
I don't watch a great deal of TV, really. I have a lot of shows that I'd like to watch, but the huge range of options out there at the moment are overwhelming and it can be impossible to get a consistent opinion of a show, with friends and the internet telling you "if you can just get past the first half of the season, it gets way better!" I don't have time for that kind of slog. Perhaps if I've invested time in the show before, I'll keep going, but shows like "Agents of Shield" and DC's latest offerings for "Flash" and "Arrow" often get the quick summary of "slow to start, but improves over time!"
With this being said, I wasn't sure if I would finish Netflix's new show "Stranger Things", but I was willing to give it a shot because all the news about it was universally praising it for its eighties aesthetic, amazing soundtrack and brilliant characters. Of course, with this show being less than a month old, I won't go into any spoilers as I hope that anyone who reads this is inspired to go and watch it themselves.
"Brevity Makes Sweetness, Doesn't It?" - Stephen King
A quote from Stephen King seems fitting as the show draws from so many aspects of his writing, but the most instantly noticeable is the font used to introduce the show. An article at Inverse.com goes into further detail about the sci-fi influences that viewers may or may not be aware of as they watch. Brevity is a real strength of the show, however; with Netflix's preference being to keep the show down to 8 episodes in a season. With a season length much more similar to a British TV show, as opposed to the bloated 24 episode season arc that we've grown accustomed to from America, there's no extra fat in Stranger Things.
The child actors remind you of The Goonies and of being a nerdy kid in general.
To start with, there's no need for the framing of a TV show season that follows a main arc with "monster of the week" episodes interspersed to break the flow and complicate matters. There's really only one "arc" but the focus on different characters as they come to conclusions on their own is quite reminiscent of Game Of Thrones, where you find yourself shouting at characters to just go and speak to each other, because they each hold opposite halves of the solution to the puzzle at hand. Viewers are rewarded for sticking around with more information about not just the situation that's going on in the quiet little Indiana town, but the back stories of some fascinating and very human characters. I would really like to do a spoiler blog about it in a while, where I can talk about how masterful the character progression is for certain characters, but that will have to wait. Maybe I'll do one for season 1 if they ever make a season 2.
Netflix seems to be hitting it out of the park with their own created content. They've come a long way from the (admittedly disappointing) fourth season of Arrested Development, with Daredevil Season 2 surpassing the brilliant Season 1 in almost every way. I can't help but feel that Netflix are competing with HBO, who happen to have created my all-time favourite TV show: the ten episode long "Band of Brothers". With GoT, Stranger Things and BoB all being relatively short seasons, maybe it's my growing up with British TV formats that have conditioned me to expect more quality from less content? Regardless, judging from anecdotal evidence and internet searches, it looks like Stranger Things is getting the recognition it deserves.
Great Minds makes for great viewing.
Fans of Harmon's work will recognise the ever-patient Spencer Crittenden.
So as well as being a fan of modern pop-culture, I am also a big history nerd (see- "my favourite TV show is Band of Brothers). This has led me to subscribe to the History channel on youtube. I subscribed a long time ago, but I'd given up on them after discovering that apparently looking through abandoned storage lockers and auctioning off the remains is suitable "content". I used to love watching documentaries on the history and discovery channel, but at this point those channels are around 40% adverts, it seems.
So imagine my surprise when I find "Dan Harmon's - Great Minds" pop up in my youtube suggestions. People may not be aware, Dan Harmon is the guy behind the TV show "Community", he's a writer and voice actor on "Rick & Morty" and he presents a weekly podcast called "Harmontown" where he gets drunk in a comicbook shop and berates...well...everyone and everything around him, but mostly himself. He personifies the "tortured genius" persona that modern culture loves to ascribe to great writers and philosophers, but he's so self-effacing and up-front about it that you can't help but admire his ability to keep pushing uphill against his very nature.
While Dan Harmon's personality is the catalyst for my interest being roused, it's the content that's got me excited enough about this show to want to share it with people. It's damn funny, and not in a "funny for the history channel" kinda way. It's actually incredible that the History Channel allowed this to go out with their name on it.
The central conceit is that Dan Harmon and his long-suffering and ever-patient assistant Spencer Crittenden have been given the reigns on a machine that can turn a "puck" of genetic material into a person and imbue it with the personality and looks of famous people from history. The rest of the show involves a conversation with these famous people, from Ada Lovelace to Idi Amin (played by Gillian Jacobs and Ron Funches respectively), the show runs the gamut of history's heroes and villains, each character given their ten minutes to discuss the issues that they are known for, often with Harmon trying to steer them into topics that serves his own agenda. There are many knowing nods to being on the brink of cancellation, which is something Harmon constantly contended with during his time at the helm of Community, and while I am still amazed that he gets to create this kind of content, I just hope it gets the recognition it deserves from the people watching and the network who's funding it.
Jack Black puts in a great performance as Ludwig Van Beethoven.
For those who are uncertain, let me just drop this video in here. Jason Sudeikis plays a rage-fueled Thomas Edison who is one of those "know-it-all" arseholes that insists he invented everything. I won't say any more, just give it a watch. It's an amazing show.
So no games this time, but I have made a start on "Hard West" which has been quite interesting so far, and while it's clearly not got the production values of games like X-Com. The story seems a lot more interesting though, so I'm excited to see how a supernatural western horror pans out.
Until next time!
Pokémon Go to your DOOM!
Pokémon, DOOM & Batman vs Superman all feature in my second pop-culture blog.
Where's the gameplay at?
So when I left off last time, I had mentioned that I would talk about Pokémon go for a little while. I have certainly dabbled in it a little bit, and while I have enjoyed little bits of it, I don't have the same pull that a lot of other people seem to be enjoying. For the four people left on earth who might not know, Pokémon Go is a game for your mobile phone where you are basically placed on a google-maps type environment, with varying levels of activity, depending on where you are in real life. As you move around in real-life, your avatar moves around on-screen and you are able to interact with Pokémon as they appear. This interaction is a simple minigame where the player is able to continually swipe up on their phone to throw the ubiquitous "Pokéball" at the creature while it performs a series of canned animations.
Once your prey is caught in its little red and white prison, you have added it to your roster. And that's pretty much it for gameplay, in the early stages at least. There are some RPG mechanics that sadly seem to involve mincing lower level Pokémon to create "candies" that help similar species of Pokémon to evolve into stronger versions of themselves, and there is the option to "battle" at gyms, where the game does a good job of reinforcing the same conditioning that many people get on games like Call of Duty or Halo; namely being put in your place by a 14 year old with a drugs reference in their title. In full disclosure, I only ever fought one guy in a gym, and it was at Livingston train station and the game didn't like it when my train started moving off, leaving me unable to fight further. I won, but I don't think I should have.
I would forgive you for assuming that this is a negative review of Pokémon Go, but I want to state at this point that I am curious to see what's going to happen with the game. I am almost certain that this is basically an open beta, as the distinct lack of fun gameplay that seems to have pushed the main series of Pokémon games into what must be its eighth or ninth generation is conspicuously absent, leaving behind the "gotta catch 'em all" element that seems to have entranced everyone, including my wife. I don't take any issue with the game, and for the most part, stories about it have been regarding how "Pokémon Go helped my autistic child make friends" or "I am a PTSD sufferer who finds it calming to take my children out to go Pokémon hunting" etc. This is all good, and hopefully getting a generation of nerds to go outside and interact socially will be something that prompts more games to encourage players to leave their home. My issues really come down to two things.
- I live in a little town in West Lothian, with little in the way of Pokéstops or gyms nearby, and I cycle a bike to get to the train station, so I can't have Pokémon go out while I'm travelling.
- Even with a range of respectable Pokémon in my roster, I don't feel like I can do much with them. There's just no gameplay there.
So with all of these factors considered, I decided to overcome 20 years of snobbery about Pokémon and I picked up "Pokémon Soul Silver" for my 3DS. I am only a couple of hours or so into it at the moment, and I still feel like the game has to "open up". I am at Violet City and just got my first gym badge, but I am worried that I've not balanced my training as my initial choice Pokémon is at least ten levels above the nearest other one. I may have to do some grinding to get my team up to speed. I promise to get back to you guys when I figure out if I was right to write-off one of the world's favourite and most famous gaming franchises of all time, or not.
Ok, so I'm not this far yet, but give me time.
Speaking of old franchises, I had mentioned last time that I had been thoroughly enjoying my time with this year's reboot of the grandaddy of first-person shooters: id Software's "DOOM". I tell ya what, this game was everything I'd been hoping for, in terms of gameplay, story (what little was there) and tone. Bethesda are presently 2-for-2 in terms of recent shooters, with Machine Games' 2014 "Wolfenstein: The New Order" having a solid single-player campaign that mixes a lot of FPS tropes with modern gameplay mechanics and leaves you satisfied that you've played a real videogame, and not just walked through a shooting gallery. For those who have followed games for a while, you'll know that Wolfenstein 3D and DOOM share a similar origin, both coming from the extremely influential id studio in the early nineties. Oddly enough, both games contain nods to their origins, with specific areas where players are able to step into original environments from their predecessors. The visual juxtaposition of the beautifully rendered modern weapons (which I'll get onto later) and the jagged sprites of the original environments certainly made me smile.
DOOM features these secret areas throughout the game.
Not content to rest on its laurels, DOOM goes above and beyond any expectations I had when I first saw it being demoed at E3 last year. I think this is largely because this is a game that relies on how it feels to really make itself stand out. I touched on the speed and aggression that the game requires of you to succeed, with the player really needing to push forward when they're in trouble, instead of hiding. Enemies are smart and most of them are capable of chasing you anywhere you go, so it's best to turn around, pull out the chainsaw and run right at them, before enjoying the gory animation as you chop demons in half. This is especially enjoyable as the brief respite for the animation stops the player from being injured further.
DOOM actually reminded me quite a lot of Bioshock Infinite, which is technically a great FPS, but it lacked the immediacy and punch that I feel I wanted from it. The original Bioshock was creepy to the point where it could justifiably be called a "horror" game, but in the case of Infinite, its admittedly fantastic story was so reliant on the environment being open and engaging that it never felt creepy, and the shooting became somewhat monotonous. Of course, this isn't what made me think of Bioshock Infinite, as DOOM has none of these traits, but both games share a similarity with regards to resource gathering. Ammo and health must be scavenged if you're going to survive either game, but where Bioshock Infinite has you literally raking in bins for old apples to restore health, DOOM makes a game of running around the environment mid-gunfight to pick up that vital bit of health or armour as you flee (let's say fighting retreat) from a "Baron Of Hell".
A "Baron Of Hell". These guys take some putting down.
This "micro-gamification" permeates everything that makes DOOM great. At no part of the game are you bored, feeling like you're missing something or ought to break up your exploration. There's always something to do, from the unobtrusive and rewarding puzzles that scatter the environment, to checking off the map-specific challenges: "Perform 5 screw-top glory kills on possessed." The combat related challenges often force you to re-think your approach, trying to get certain enemy types to move with you in a certain direction while you desperately hunt for the right weapon to complete the challenge, or declining to use your area-of-effect weapons for risk of killing an enemy too early to complete the challenge. Combine this constant need to switch-up your strategy with top-notch level design, weapon mechanics and baddie balancing to craft a masterpiece of exciting and gory gunplay, and after all that, what else could you want?
The aesthetic design twists wildly from creepy and demonic (above) to sci-fi futuristic.
If you want a story, it's...ok. It's certainly functional, and to be honest maybe DOOM wouldn't hold up as well if you made the DOOM Marine any more than a mindless gun-toting maniac. The UAC reprises its role as an openly evil corporate entity, with little datapads telling its employees that "unlike the rest of your life, the stuff you do here is important" and openly channeling "argent energy" directly from hell, all while they send research teams to their deaths and perform augmentations on demons to make them...well...it makes for better level bosses, let's leave it at that, shall we? Like I said, looking into the motives of a character in a DOOM game probably won't go very well. DOOM does its best storytelling through its environments, and there's no doubt that the art team must have trawled through some especially disturbing artwork to get the ideas for the settings. From futuristic planet-sized computer cores that are infested with demons, to biblical looking hellscapes and back to scientific martian colonies with clumps of demonic goop and human body parts, you know things aren't going well for the locals. Hiding in a locker isn't going to help you here ("Alien: Isolation" may have conditioned me to always look for a hiding place in a dystopian sci-fi environment) so you best just keep running forward, chainsaw raised and trusty shotgun loaded. You'll have a blast.
Lastly, I want to talk about Batman vs Superman:Dawn of Justice.
I know, I know. It's "not great", but it's not all that bad either. It pulled back quite a bit from Man Of Steel's reliance on grand-scale sweeping combat to make its points, although there's certainly plenty of OTT fight scenes that will dazzle with special effects. The opening scene features an overlapping story with MoS, with Affleck's Bruce Wayne driving through Metropolis while Superman and Zod fight overhead, bringing down skyscrapers and rubble. It does a good job of juxtaposing the "small man" of Batman, on the ground and trying to help people while the "big guys" fight up in the sky.
Affleck's Bruce Wayne is pretty good, and it has to be; as he carries the movie.
With so much of the movie spoiled for me in trailers (I won't go any further into details), I already knew the major story beats for this film before I watched it. The combination of "knowing what's coming", along with reading the pretty poor reviews made this a "wait until it's on TV" movie for me, and while it might have been nice to see the big action scenes on a cinema screen, I feel like I enjoyed the film more with my expectations tempered slightly. The performances are all pretty good, with Affleck stealing the show for me. Henry Cavill's Clark Kent/Superman (Spoilers, sorry!) is everything I dislike about Superman as he gets outsmarted by everyone that meets him. Jesse Eisenberg is a great villain, for sure. He's just the right amount of slimy, creepy and psychopathic to make Lex Luthor work, and while she's mostly a mystery, Gal Gadot's WonderWoman looks great on screen. I guess we'll see how her Diana Prince turns out in her stand-alone movie which looks frickin' awesome, based on the new trailer from SDCC.
That's all for this week. If you made it down this far, thank you for reading and hopefully you'll join me next time when I discuss some of the books I've been enjoying lately, due to my recent decision to join Audible, and I might have made some progress with Pokémon Soul Silver. I'm still not sure what will fill the hole left by DOOM, but I am considering giving the multiplayer a shot.
Until then, goodbye and thanks for stopping by!
Brashcast Episode 64: SDCC Trailer Bonanza, plus Star Trek & Beyond!
So this is mostly a tester for my blog to see how easy it is to host a podcast on my new website. Let's have a look-see and make sure it works, yeah? We can do it together, come on now...
Respawn
I get my act together and make a start at a blog. This time, I cover what I've been playing of late.
Well it's been a while. I set up a blog a couple of years ago, with the intention of logging my thoughts regarding videogames; from opinion pieces on gaming culture to the discussing the nuances of specific games. That hasn't gone so well, I guess. For a nerd's blog, so far it's all about me and my now wife wandering around northern Italy, searching for gluten-free pizza and hoping to avoid being sunburnt as we are eaten alive by insects.
While these issues are still very relevant to me (the pizza especially), I figured it was time to give my blog a real chance, and even if nobody but me and a random guy who searched for the words "gluten-free pizza" reads it, I like the thought of being able to log my thoughts on an industry that I have followed for a long time as an outsider, and in the last few years have been lucky enough to enjoy from the perspective of a game developer. So I'm sorry my coeliac pizza loving friend, but I hope you like games, 'cos for now I'm all about dem vidjagames. (Stick around though, I'm off to Barcelona and Girona in October).
So as I said, this blog is primarily a journal where I can write down my thoughts on the modern gaming industry. I am an aspiring writer, as well as an aspiring games designer, and I like to think that even if it's not narrative, writing a blog will hopefully help me to keep my writing skills sharp, or at least inspire me to write more for my narrative projects. It will also serve as an outlet for my nerdiness. I am acutely aware that while I have a lot of nerdy friends on social media, there are also a lot of my family and friends who have no interest in videogames, and I worry that my annual E3 outbursts that normally end in me appearing to talk to myself will inevitably alienate people who have no idea who Palmer Luckey is.
With all the preamble out of the way, I want to get started by mentioning how good it's been to get a week off. It was my birthday last Tuesday and I also had family visiting from the USA at the end of June / start of July, so I decided to take some time off. While my focus was definitely on seeing my family, some of whom I haven't seen for over half a decade, I was also looking forward to getting some time to focus on my back catalogue, which is ever-growing now that I have converted to PC gaming.
Can I just say that the major advantage to PC gaming isn't "the sensitivity of mouse and keyboard" or "the increased power"; it's the price of games. I will sometimes find myself buying games that I have already completed because they're so damn cheap. I guess this is the pitfall that Steam sales are good at capitalizing on, but I'm honestly shocked at the disparity between digital sales prices for games on Xbox Live Marketplace and Steam or CDkeys.com. Of course, PCs are significantly more expensive as an investment, and they require a certain level of technical know-how...but I digress, that's not an interesting topic.
So approaching this little holiday that I've made for myself, I am looking forward to playing two things most of all.
- Witcher 3's "Blood and Wine" expansion.
- Fallout 4's "Far Harbour" expansion.
It turns out that I hardly played any of the Witcher 3, and to be fair, Fallout 4 is easier to leave and come back to, as every month seems to bring new patches that fix significant bugs, and the missions are modular enough that the story thread can be lost and re-found later on. The reason I didn't play any of these games is largely because I have awesome friends who buy games at birthdays, but also because I wanted to give Insomniac Games' "Sunset Overdrive" a shot and it really sucked me in! I ended up spending quite a long time in Sunset city; grinding, bouncing and shooting my way over the rooftops in a game that I never thought I'd play until it came up for Xbox's "Games With Gold" campaign recently, and I decided to try it out. On top of Sunset Overdrive, I also played and finished Campo Santo's beautifully rendered and performed "Firewatch" and a hefty chunk of ID Software's "DOOM". I'm not sure if it's meant to have all block-capitals, but from the time I've spent with it, I think it's earned the right to be presented as a game that is shouting for attention. It's a brash game, with all the heavy-metal angst and album cover artwork that one would expect from the reboot/next iteration of ID's 1993 first-person shooter.
These three games offer a very different range of experiences, although reflecting on some of the similarities between DOOM and Sunset Overdrive have left me wondering if they've both been approached with much the same design tenets that have loaned themselves so well to creating action-packed and knowingly over-the-top gameplay that is capable of leaving players so satisfied with their experience that they can't help but smile as they tear around the environment, guns blazing, as bad guys explode into needlessly, but satisfyingly visceral (and I mean visceral in the literal sense) gibbets.
I didn't expect to like Sunset Overdrive that much, to be honest. I am a big fan of Insomniac's "Ratchet and Clank" series, especially the range of weapons that they tend to offer, but I knew that this was an open-world traversal game, similar to the Crackdown series or perhaps even Spiderman (which turns out to be the next franchise that Insomniac is set to tackle). I have played open world third person superhero games for years, with vivid memories of enjoying swinging around New York's Central Park in Spiderman 2 (but where are the webs connected to?) but I always get turned off by the learning curve and the relatively weak character that you have to start with to make the evolution of your character interesting and engaging. It happened with Crackdown and it worried me about Sunset.
I needn't have worried; Sunset may have a bit of a learning curve when it comes to traversing the environment, but it seems like right from the start, there's something new to shoot, climb on or detonate. As someone who likes to feel challenged, but not overwhelmed, I was a bit nervous at first, with the myriad of ridiculous weapons (that I'm worried Insomniac are developing for real in-house) being a lot of fun to use. There's an automatic slingshot that fires vinyl records like a machine gun, or a weird-lookin' plunger device that allows you to fire exploding teddy bears into the faces of oncoming monsters, who just happen to be humans that have been transformed by drinking too much experimental energy drink. On the topic of the "evil corporation" that makes the energy drink, I can't tell if there's some kind of political commentary going on, mostly due to the game being so ridiculously OTT that it's hard to take it seriously.
While the weapons and monsters are fun, the game is really set apart by its setting. Sunset City is technically a post-apocalyptic city, controlled by Fizzco, the aforementioned "evil corporation". I've played Fallout, The Last of Us and Mad Max in the last few years, but none of them had a city as vibrant and exciting to traverse as Sunset City. As you learn the techniques that form the backbone of the game, namely grinding on top of the conveniently located cables and figuring out which objects can be bounced on to gain height, you'll find that you can cover great distances at massive speeds without ever touching the ground, making this a city that while enormous, doesn't ever require you to drive a vehicle.
All of this bouncing around is set to a soundtrack that can only be described as "Rockin'" and includes tracks from punk band "The Bronx" who are an alter ego of a favourite band of mine called "Mariachi el Bronx." The mixture of punk and EDM make sure that your head is bopping as you throw your character around the city. This is so profoundly fun, that I found myself unwilling to use the fast-travel system, which is a feature that I use extensively in games such as Skyrim and The Witcher 3; two games where I often play just to immerse myself in the world. When you nail the mechanics of simply getting around, you have done something right!
So during my holiday, I spent a fair bit of time lounging around in my PJs, playing Sunset Overdrive, but when my birthday rolled around I was lucky enough to receive a few gifts from my friends. These gifts were all present on my Steam wishlist, but I still have to hand it to my friends for their good taste. Let's face it, if you're buying someone a game from their wishlist, the first thing you think of is "Ok, which of these looks like something I'd be excited to play?" These games were:
- DOOM
- Firewatch
- Hard West
The more eagle-eyed of you might notice that I haven't mentioned Hard West, but that's largely because I've seen it compared to X-Com:Enemy Unknown, which is a game that ate hours of my time, back in 2012 and has continued to be a fallback game across three separate platforms since then. I am saving it for when I know I can sink my teeth into it. I will undoubtedly be covering it here at some point.
I'll mention DOOM next, as I feel a natural drift from Sunset to DOOM. As I mentioned previously, I think that both games share quite a few similarities in their design philosophy. While I concede that most action games require such staples as "fast pacing", "explosions" and "kick-ass music", these games share a real fraternity on a few different fronts.
The Weapons Rock - I've already covered Sunset's crazy cartoon arsenal that would make Wile E. Coyote's eyes pop a foot out of his head, but DOOM is positioned as the grandson of the formative FPS, meaning they can use the "classic" weapons without having to feel bad about it. You think shotguns, assault rifles and rocket launchers are boring? Well DOOM is able to present them all as familiar companions on a gore-soaked adventure, but they introduce alternate fire modes that make every weapon seem unique and fun to use. This also stops the normal gaming trope of letting the early weapons sit idle in your inventory as you repeatedly wonder why you can't pick up any more ammo for them. I am a good 3 or 4 hours into the game and I still love my trusty shotgun!
The Enemies Are Gross - Ok, so Sunset has mutated humans that pop when they're shot, often throwing sticky orange goo into the air, causing other mutants to appear. It's pretty gross, and the game's sense of humour is very good at knowingly nodding to it. This does mean that it's "funny-gross" like Tucker & Dale vs Evil, while DOOM goes down the route of "portal to hell, tortured souls and monsters that splinter into meaty chunks of dog food-gross" which I guess can be kinda funny too, although that just puts fuel on the fire of the "videogames desensitise people" argument, I guess.
No Time To Stop - Unlike many other action games, DOOM's environments are set up in such a way that you cannot stop moving. Enemies will spawn behind you, in areas you thought you just cleared. If you stand still to fight what's ahead of you, there's a real risk of being attacked from behind. Sunset is third-person, which means you're never really caught unawares, but you still need to keep moving to avoid being shot or mauled to death. While this "on or off" approach to gameplay seems somewhat simplistic nowadays, it's actually refreshing to play a pair of games that won't let you relax until you've fought your way clear of your enemies. There's no hunkering down for cover or hiding while your health refills. There is only carnage! DOOM actively encourages getting stuck in at close range with "glory kills" which will reward players with ammo and health drops. The last game I played that had the same approach to "forward, never back" combat was Warhammer 40K's "Space Marine". It was similarly gory and involved chain weapons.
I feel like this is a good place to leave my first blog-post about games, as I've covered two similar but distinct games. In my next post, I'll go on to discuss my experiences with Firewatch, and perhaps offer my opinions on what seems to be causing a lot of hubbub in both gaming and popular culture at the moment: Pokemon Go.
All that and more next time, thank you for reading!
-Roguester
"Tombs, temples & time travel" - Days 7, 8 & 9: Rome - Edinburgh
A retrospective of our last few days in Rome before we head home.
So this post won't take the form of the previous ones, as it's going to be a retrospective on our holiday. As I mentioned in the previous post, I just didn't have the time to keep up with the journal when I had to cook in the evenings. So I stopped writing after describing the Colosseum at night. It was unfortunate that it wasn't fully lit up, but I guess there wasn't much we could have done about it.
Day 7 had a very busy itinerary, including visits to...
The Trevi Fountain The Pantheon The Palatine Hill & Forum Complex The Crypt of The Capuchin Monks
We managed them all, though. I am glad we did, but by this point the incessant heat and the 8 til late days with a diminished food intake was really starting to weary us both. I was also missing my beloved CPAP machine, as it really helps me to get a good night's sleep. The first stop we wanted to make was the Palatine Hill & Forum as the ticket for the Colosseum included them as well. We wanted to make sure we got in before the ticket expired.
The first mistake we made was by going via Circus Maximus. When we visited Rome, this area was under some serious renovation by the looks of things. From the street beside it, all we could see was a dusty field. What this route also did was put us on the wrong side of the Palatine Hill. After a little bit of confusion with the city map, we'd been out in the baking sun for well over an hour before we were back on the right track to get in. It wasn't a great start to the day, but it got a bit nicer when we found ourselves at the top of the Altare Della Patria, which we had seen from lower down the night before. It was quite ostentatious, but I was just happy to find a water fountain to fill our water bottle from and cool off slightly. From up here, we were able to navigate to the entrance to the Palatine Hill.
There is very little cover on the hill, and it's well...a hill. This made it quite hard going for Kara who darted between the shade like some kind of diurnal ninja. While it was nice to be amongst some of the ancient Roman parts of the city, it was difficult to relax with the heat and the endless throng of tourists that was busy taking pictures of themselves next to things. I'm not one for picture taking, if I'm being honest. Kara is the one who took all of the photos you'll see in this blog (except the ones of her, I would have taken those) as she is much more of a "visual" person, while I enjoy writing down my thoughts. I subscribe to the notion that if I'm busy taking a picture, I'm not really there enjoying the view. As ironic as it sounds, coming from someone who assumes that his thoughts will be read, it annoys me to see people taking selfies with beautiful landmarks before moving on, not bothering to really appreciate what they've taken a picture of. It just seems a little conceited, is all. Anyway, the peddlers were all selling selfie sticks, so I guess that should tell me something about what tourists get up to on holiday. Each unto their own, I suppose!
The Forum was quite impressive, with some old temples and tombs, including one for Julius Caesar. It's a strange notion as a history nerd, to be standing close to something that was built to commemorate a character from thousands of years ago that you've been reading about since you were a child. The only other time I've felt like that, I was in Dunfermline Abbey at my best friend's wedding. I was the best man so we were milling around, waiting on the guests to arrive, so I was lucky enough to get into some of the areas that most of the public do not. Underneath the pulpit, lies the tomb of Robert The Bruce; one of Scotland's most famous historical figures. Gave me shivers just thinking about it, and it was already a nervous day for me! (Truth be told, I was more nervous than the groom seemed to be on the day!)
So our morning had been a bit of a bust, but we had been able to do what we'd wanted to do. From here, we jumped aboard the metro and headed up to the Spanish Steps, which was not only close to our next site, but we also had some business to attend to in this part of town, printing our boarding cards for the trip home on Wednesday! It was here that we spotted some amazing graffiti of the Pope, that we didn't snap a picture of, but I found an image of it online.
Once that was done, and with Kara running purely on gluten-free cereal bars and a couple of kinder chocolate bars that I was force-feeding her, we entered the Crypt of the Capuchin Monks. Now, the museum itself is quite interesting. It shows the origins and some of the distinctions of this particular branch of Catholicism, which extols many of the virtues that many priests don't seem to stick to as much these days; such as poverty and humility. My understanding was that their sect spends a great deal of their time and resources helping the poor and needy, following the footsteps of Saint Francis Of Assisi. As a real bonus for Kara, there was a Caravaggio painting in here, although there are conflicting reports on whether the one in there is his original or not. I will stick some pictures from google in to show you all what the crypt looked like, as we were not allowed to take pictures.
It's a morbid place, as you'd expect. I've never been anywhere quite like it, but my obsession with ancient cultures prepared me for coming (almost) face to face with real mummified remains. Kara is obsessed with skeletons and skulls in particular. She is a tattoo artist and we have a definite "dead stuff" motif in parts of our house, which is quite funny when you consider that the other parts are Star Wars and comic book prints. Part of me wonders if it would be funny to invite Jehova's witnesses into the house just to see their faces when they see all of the semi-satanic imagery that adorns our walls; snakes, skulls, goat's heads etc... Anyway, the upshot was that Kara was fascinated with the display on offer here. I was just trying to picture the kind of psychopath that would literally nail vertebrae into the roof and walls to make the patterns that we witnessed. Kara and I did two passes on here, while Kara soaked it all in. It somewhat kills the ambience when you reach the end as there's a gift-shop, selling notepads and the like.
As we stepped out into the sunlight, I was glad to be back in the modern age. Skulls and skellingtons don't bother me, but the message of the crypt is to emphasise that time is fleeting. They have a tombstone in one of their rooms that reads...
"What you are now we used to be; what we are now you will be..."
So, feeling a tad drained, both spiritually (yeuch, I hate to use that term but it feel right in this context) and physically, we headed off to get lunch. We found a place called Pizza Ciro and found the food to be ok, but the service wasn't great, and it was quite pricey. Still, it wasn't too bad, and it was nice to not have to worry about food until we got home.
From lunch, we wandered on towards the Trevi Fountain. This was even more disappointing than Ponte Vecchio, but not because it looked boring. The whole fountain is under renovation. Quite considerable renovation, judging from the scaffolding and dust sheeting that was in place. There were bits of Oceanus that could still be seen, but other than that there wasn't much. There is a small replacement "fountain" that is just a pool of standing water, where people who want to throw a coin into the fountain can do so. The superstition is that those who throw a coin into the fountain will return to Rome. Kara and I threw a coin into the little pool, but it was a real disappointment. The Pantheon was next on the list, and fortunately it isn't too far from the Trevi Fountain. It's also free to enter, which is nice.
As with all of Rome, the piazza where the Pantheon sits is packed with people all the time. The Pantheon is a beautiful old building, and I was very excited to see inside. The exterior is gorgeous, with all of the massive pillars and traditionally Roman architecture that one would expect. The interior is quite nice too, but I was disappointed to find that the Pantheon, like many other ancient Roman buildings, has been converted into a space for Catholic prayer and all of the ancient Roman iconography has been replaced with christian imagery. I just wanted to go outside to see some more of the exterior, as it represented the ancient Roman past that is harder to find in Rome than one might think. It left me with a bad taste in my mouth, but I was happy to have visited.
From here, we headed back home to have dinner and figure out what to do the next day.
Day 8
We had toyed with the idea of visiting the Vatican. If you've read the previous blogs, it's easy to see why this might have stuck in my craw. We were really having to watch our finances and it didn't look like The Vatican would be cheap. We decided to take my Aunt and Uncle's advice and take a day trip to Ostia Antica. Knowing it was our last day before leaving for home, we knew we wanted to at least see the outside of St. Peter's Basilica, so we took a little metro ride to the Vatican, before fist bumping as we saw the massive queues and considered the high price of entry. We were harassed by admittedly, a mixed bag of tour guides, ranging from dodgy as hell to quite charming, as we approached the square where the Pope normally addresses the public. It's a lovely open space, but not when it's filled with a winding snake of tourists, waiting to get in. Kara took a few pictures and we set off for an afternoon in Ostia Antica.
After a 20 minute train ride, we were right outside of the city and it was a nice feeling. Kara is from a very small hamlet in rural Perthshire and Edinburgh is the biggest city I've ever lived in. We are not "city people" really. We don't overly enjoy many of the benefits that living in the city offers, and Rome is humongous. It was refreshing to be back out in the middle of nowhere, which looking back; is something that I appreciated about Maranello. People do say that when visiting Italy, it's important to see the little towns as well as the big cities. They're absolutely right, and Ostia Antica turned out to be a real treat for both of us.
By day 8, I had acclimatized to the heat somewhat, while Kara was still having a really hard time with the heat. Ostia Antica has many old ruins and intact walls, but it's largely open streets and little cover. We had a bit of a hard time while we were there, but there were lots of water fountains and we were able to find the on site cafe, where we ordered Kara some potato wedges. At this point, I was making sure we had sufficient bus-fare to get to the airport the next day, so Kara got food and I tried not to stare at the plate and lick my lips. I wasn't sure how long it would be before I was seeing passers by as giant walking turkey legs, like in Tom & Jerry cartoons. I was saved by one of Kara's more interesting food habits, which anyone who has eaten in her company will be familiar with. The infamous "potato cull" where even the slightest discolouration or "defect" will lead to a "rejected pile" which I hungrily gobbled up.
I really don't have words to describe how incredible the location is. Ostia Antica is an ancient harbour town that used to supply Rome. It has a naval history, plus the site contains remnants of many of the buildings that most Roman towns had back in the period the town is meant to have been at its peak. (400BC - 200AD) There are some incredible building remains that have been uncovered by archaeologists on the site, including bakeries, temples, tombs, houses, baths and I'm guessing the gigantic amphitheater didn't take a lot of digging to discover. This place was everything I wanted from a visit to Rome; a reflection of an ancient culture, with no doubt that what you were seeing was a genuine version and not something that was assembled in the 17th century. There was no graffiti and the sheer scale of the town really shows the layout and function of the place. There are mosaics that I'm guessing operated as advertisements for different shipping companies, while other depicted sea animals and elephants, presumably to emphasize the exotic nature of their expeditions. I think Kara could tell how much I was enjoying the place, as she persevered despite feeling really bad out there in the sun. We didn't quite finish seeing the whole place, but we were there for hours. There really is so much to see, and if you are a history nerd like I am, it's definitely what you're coming to Rome to see. It's cheap to get out there and visit, so do it.
We took the train back home and I did some cooking, before we did some provisional suitcase packing and got an early night. The train to Ciampino got us there on time, and despite a fairly significant setback, we arrived at the tiny airport terminal on time and in one piece. From here, the only other point to mention is that if you get a window seat on the right side of the plane and you're flying back to the UK from Ciampino, you get an amazing view of Rome from the sky. We were able to pick out so many of the sights that had seemed to huge from the ground, including the Colosseum and parts of the Vatican City.
So that was our trip. We arrived back in grey, chilly Scotland a few hours later and I was so glad to feel that cold breeze. We faced issues that were predictable to a point, especially feeding someone who has real trouble with finding food even in their home environment. I don't think gluten-free dining on its own would be particularly tricky in Italy, although it definitely pays to be prepared. It's also very expensive to feed yourself in Italy, even if the quality and quantity of food seemed to be better than in the UK. Just research the gluten-free options and you shouldn't have too difficult a time, although be prepared to have a regular meal that just happens to not include pizza or pasta, just in case you can't find a place. (For all we know, Milan has no places that do gluten-free pasta or pizza!)
I hope you have enjoyed reading this travel blog as much as I have enjoyed recounting our adventures. It's largely a personal project for me, but it's also nice to be able to passively describe our trip to family and friends! From here, it's likely that this blog will take a left-turn into nerdy territory, but I hope some of you might stick around for that.
Arrivederci!
-Ross
"Murder, mayhem and mozzarella" - Day 6: Rome
We tour the Colosseum and Kara finds her dream pizza.
Journal Entry 11.00 pm
Apartment in Roma
As we've been going at full-speed to do as much as possible this holiday, we decided to slow down this morning to plan our day and take advantage of the laundry facilities. At the moment, our flat is strewn with (clean) underpants and socks while our less personal items hang in the courtyard outside. The neighbours seem nice enough, even if my snoring probably keeps them awake, worrying about what animal sacrifice I am making to some dark power. I am sans-CPAP for the trip and I can feel myself becoming more tired as my quality of sleep deteriorates.
I took a walk to the local corner shop today, as Kara had only eaten junk food since Florence and I was beginning to worry. Despite a fair bit of confusion and feeling bad about my "Italiano", I was able to buy some bananas (green - the way Kara prefers them) and some potatoes. If there's one kind of food I know will be appreciated, it's potatoes. I snagged myself some bread and salami, as well as what seems to be Parmesan dairylea. After an approximation on a "continental breakfast" I hunt out the washing while Kara wrestled her hair into place. After discovering how to work the air-con, I was quite happy with the morning.
We stepped out and into the hot sunlight and I could've sworn I heard Kara hiss her disapproval. We wandered up and down via Casilina, looking for bus tickets. Our expreience today has taught us that people just get on and don't care for actually buying tickets. This bus had air-con! Never before have I been so comfortable on a packed bus. There is a couple that we saw at a restaurant last night, as well as on the bus into town today and on the far side of Rome at the end of the day. It's kinda creepy.
From the bus, we went shopping at Termini. Not the best idea as it's hella expensive, yo. We did find some snacks for Kara as well as the basis of some gluten-free dinners, so that's a weight off my mind. Sun-tan lotion was €20 so we resolved to find it cheaper, somewhere else. I hope they do factor 1,000,000 for Kara. She hates the idea of tanning.
After a short stint aboard the Roman metro, we arrived at Colosseo! The Colosseum was one of the biggest factors in me wanting to come to Rome and it's an impressive building that demands your attention as soon as you climb out of the metro station. A quick check online before we left the apartment meant that we had reserved our tickets. I was very glad of this, as the line to buy a ticket looked hellish. We went the wrong way round the Colosseum at first, just trying to glimpse parts of the building that were truly ancient or perhaps catching a minute of an English-speaking tour guide as they described what they were looking at. Many of them seemed to be obsessed with the ancient Roman toilets.
After a little while, we got going in the right direction. The Colosseum hosts some fantastic museums, showing finds from the excavations nearby, as well as descriptions that help to bring the place to life. The place was understandably mobbed, though. It was sad to see such a beautiful old place covered in graffiti. Much like at Giotto's bell-tower, I found myself getting pissed off at other people's ignorance and lack of respect. During the visit, I discovered that the Colosseum was consecrated as a mark of respect for all of the Christians "martyred" there.
As we entered the predictably tacky gift shop, Kara started to feel overcome by the heat and a lack of food. We decided to take a trip to the other side of the Tiber to look for "Mamaeat"; a gluten-free pizzeria. On the way, we passed a great and impressive monument called the "Vittoriano" which is the largest monument in Italy. It is enormous. We found it just as the sun was starting to dip, and the white marble that covers the entire area shone beautifully. We crossed the Tiber on the Ponte Palatino and found ourselves in narrow but busy streets that reminded me of Firenze.
Mamaeat is not particularly easy to find, but if you're a coeliac in Rome, it's a place you have to visit! Kara exclaimed "It's like eating real pizza!" I don't think she'll forget it soon. With the sun setting, we decided to find a spot to see the Colosseo lit up at night. Sadly, it didn't happen. We spent most of our time telling the string and selfie-stick peddlers to go away. It's breast cancer awareness month so a section of the Colosseum was lit in pink, with a large pink ribbon displayed on the side.
The somewhat abrupt end to this journal entry is due in no small part to my transition to becoming the chef for our trip. Our apartment kitchen was tiny, but I was able to prepare a few meals for our later days in Rome. Sadly, this meant that the journal was forgotten as it was late by the time I'd eaten. So from this post onwards, I suppose it'll mostly just be a retrospective as I try to remember the rest of our trip!
Our apartment was quite nice. On our first night, someone had let off fireworks for a full five minutes and it sounded a bit like gunfire. Kara and I were a tad nervous, but the area didn't seem too bad. Rome is covered in graffiti, and our street was no exception, but I don't think it strictly means a rough neighbourhood. Our little apartment complex had three small houses next to each other, sharing a courtyard with a lovely tree in it. The opportunity to do some washing was definitely appreciated. The heat and humidity on our trip had really meant that we were quite gross and had to quarantine some of our clothes in the suitcase. (I say we, but it's mostly me, let's be honest.) It was also refreshing to not be getting up at 8am to rush out of the accommodation, as we had been on the move during the whole trip. Finding out how to work the air-con was like figuring out how to turn the lights on in terms of morale and significance. I suddenly felt so much more comfortable.
Public transport in Italy is very different to over here. The buses in particular were some of the worst experiences of the whole trip. If there's a minimum capacity for a bus, we definitely overstepped it by quite a margin in Italy. It's literally elbow to elbow on there. If you can fit in there, go for it. I saw people trying to navigate towards the exit, only to be blocked by people who wanted to help but couldn't move themselves. Quite a stressful scenario to be involved in! The metro is quite similar, but I guess the London tube is similar. It's not nice to be the sweaty tourist in that scenario, though.
The Colosseum deserves its place in the list of the world's most recognizable buildings. It's an imposing sight, even amongst the many incredible examples of ancient architecture around the city. The only thing that makes me less enthusiastic about looking at it, is knowing that it's been renovated and put back together on numerous occasions over the years. It was very exciting to see little notice boards that told you to look at certain features so you could see that a
particular area was indeed ancient Roman. This included parts of frescos and yes, the toilets. The tour-guides were very enthusiastic to describe how Rome's old sewerage system worked and this made the ancient Roman toilets very popular. This led me to believe that perhaps they were one of very few sections that were relatively untouched since ancient times. The place is wonderful, though. Despite the massive number of tourists and the graffiti all over the place, I still had a great time looking at what the Colosseum had to offer a history nerd like me!
"Mamaeat" is a "must" for coeliacs in Rome. The pizza looked and smelled incredible, with the gluten-free pizza looking the way you'd expect any regular pizza to look. I just had a regular one, but I would never have guessed that Kara's was gluten-free too. Kara tells me that Mamaeat's margherita pizza (she doesn't really do pizza topping either) was the best she had on the entire trip, which makes it the best pizza she's ever had. This is high praise from a very discerning customer.
I will cover the rest of the trip as a retrospective, but don't worry; there's only two days left.
"Ciao Roma" - Day 5: Florence to Rome
We take a break from art to visit a couple of science museums. Then it's on to Roma!
Journal Entry 11.00 am on day 6.
Apartment in Roma
Our last day in Florence was nearly a disaster. We thought that the station had a luggage deposit area, but it turned out that the travel site had lied! We were able to keep our stuff at the hotel, fortunately. We started off by heading to "Star Bene" once again, where Kara stocked up on cake. We didn't even make it to the end of the block this time, before Kara was tucking in. She made some quite distressing animal noises, but she looked very happy to be enjoying some breakfast cake. We then made a bee-line for Accademia, but the queue was the worst that we've seen so far on this trip. Sadly, we knew at that point that we weren't going to see David on this holiday.
Instead of feeling sorry for ourselves, we headed on to a museum that housed models made from study of Leonardo Da Vinci's notebooks. It was a bit stuffy, but it was cool to see all of the models to scale, including his tank and gliders. He also liked to build robotic suits of armour. After the Leonardo museum, we headed for the Galileo museum, along the bank of the Arno river. While fascinating and educational, there was a lot of repetition in some of the later sections. The astronomy areas were great, though.
Ponte Vecchio was rubbish. It's packed with tourists, but lined with jewelers. We had hoped for kitsch, tacky souvenirs but it was all just necklaces and earrings. We got a gelato on the other side and walked to the front of the Pitti Palace. It was enormous, with lots of tourists out front, but we weren't too fussed about going in.
On the way back through town, we stopped for a late lunch at "Hostaria Il Desco", just a few minutes away from Ponte Vecchio. Kara was delighted with her gluten-free pasta, while I got left with the "backup" in case she didn't want to eat what she'd chosen! They brought out an all gluten-free bread basket for Kara, which included the nicest breadsticks I think I've ever had.
After lunch, we picked up our luggage and chilled at the train station, waiting for our train to Roma. Upon leaving Florence, we only had one real regret and that was that we didn't see the statue of David.
Our first night in Roma was...not great. Met off the bus by our apartment's owner, we were informed that everything was closed and because it was a Sunday the next day, we were likely to struggle to feed Kara at all. Much to my eternal shame, our first meal in Roma was from a knock-off KFC establishment called "Chicken Hut". Their motto is...
"We know how to deal with chicken."
...which sounds a bit menacing to me. I immediately pictured a chicken who hadn't paid his protection money, being thrown into the fryer with a breezeblock tied round his ankles. Coupled with the heat and language barriers we encountered, day 5 ended on a bit of a downer.
A mercifully short journal entry for you guys, there. The plan was to cut our food costs in Rome by cooking everything for ourselves. It meant that we had really not planned well for eating out in Rome as I had somewhat naively expected to be able to eat much as we do at home. This turned out to not be the case, but on the first night in Rome, we really did struggle. We went to one place that was still open and turned out to be a restaurant/Karaoke bar. I understand if some readers think that sounds like fun, but as a former bartender, the word "karaoke" still gives me horrific flashbacks. We both wanted somewhere to chill out and eat, and that wasn't it. We also went to one place that our apartment owner had suggested, but it was definitely a place for locals, as everything was in Italian and there were no prices. We tried to pick up a bit of Italian on the trip, but with Kara's food issues and a lot of uncertainty, it ended up being a no-go. It was quite depressing for me too, as so far I had been able to get by on my barely passable Italiano. We also discovered that Italian chefs do NOT do substitutions. If someone says it comes with a side, it comes with that side, nothing else. "Patati" is the Italian word for potato, I believe. (If it wasn't, I was just spouting gibberish) I said it quite a lot on the trip. Kara often refers to me as her "second love, after potatoes". In almost 5 years with her, I've never seen any evidence to contradict that.
"Chicken Hut" actually didn't taste too bad. Kara just had fries that I'm fairly sure would have had some form of gluten-based coating on them, but it wasn't enough to cripple her. We were a bit overzealous in our order, which left us with a lot of fries. It was well after midnight, so it was time for bed.
Not seeing Michaelangelo's statue of David was a disappointment, certainly. It was also the only thing that we'd planned to see that we ended up missing during our trip. It was unfortunate, but we'd have wasted at least half a day waiting in the queue. The two science-themed museums that we went to were fantastic, though. Being a bit of a total nerd does extend backwards as well as forwards, and finding out more about Italy's contribution to the modern world was an exciting prospect. Florence was at the center of the Renaissance, so there were many fascinating things to see in the Galileo museum. Leonardo Da Vinci epitomizes the word "genius" for me, as he was not only a visionary and a scholar, but he was able to take these concepts and follow through to the point where he had an apparatus that was fit for experimentation. The Da Vinci museum contained many different contraptions of his that looking back now, it's easy to see the flaws, while the foundations of concepts such as the helicopter, the glider, the tank and the automaton are present. The museum was mostly filled with recently made wooden models that allowed visitors to see right into the design, often stripping away panels to show how things worked. I think if you had a smart kid, you could probably explain how something worked to them using the models here. The Galileo museum isn't really focused on Galileo himself, but Italy's contribution to science over the years. It displays some of Galileo's telescopes and measuring equipment, as well as a few of his partially
preserved fingers. (I have no idea why, and I have no idea why Kara didn't get any pictures of them for me to show you here.) The exhibition shows equipment from all facets of scientific experimentation; from astronomy to electricity. It's an inspiring and ridiculously peaceful place to visit amid the hustle and bustle of central Florence.
Ponte Vecchio really was quite disappointing. It's a bridge. That's it. It happens to be lined with jewelers. I have no idea
why it's a tourist spot. Still, it certainly seemed quite busy. Maybe the jewelers are really reasonably priced or something. The Pitti Palace and the "Boboli Gardens" behind it were on our list of places to visit but we were really worried about missing our train and these sites are on the opposite side of the Arno and the city from where we were departing from. It was certainly very warm, so the ice cream was pleasant! It was around this time that we really started to tighten our belts, as it was becoming abundantly clear that if we wanted to keep our spending in check, we were going to have to just go an have the look at the front of things for free, instead of paying €15 to go inside.
Kara really enjoyed her lunch at Il Desco. The surroundings were really nice too, with a cozy feel. The waitress that seated us seemed to be referring to one of the women who worked the till as her mother, so it was most likely a family business. It's always nice to see that you're not just supporting a massive chain restaurant. To be fair, there weren't many places in Italy other than Mcdonalds and Burger King that seemed like big chains. Funnily enough, I don't recall seeing another "Chicken Hut". That motto still makes me wonder if it was some mafia front!
"The Patron Saint of Gluten-Free Dining" - Day 4: Florence
Our first full day in Florence.
Journal Entry 10.00 pm
"Hotel Castagno" - Firenze
Firenze continues to impress us both. Not just the layout and beautiful surroundings, but the atmosphere and "feel" of the city is laid-back, with an undercurrent of intensity. That might seem contradictory so let me put it another way. It feels like everyone is in a rush, to get to the pub or a cafe. Much like Milan and Modena, Firenze is packed (often bumper to bumper) with scooters, motorbikes and tiny little city cars. We've seen quite a few weird looking single seaters, as well as "Mr Bean" style minis and Renault "Twizys". The streets are virtually single lane, but buses, taxis and bikes all tear along at breakneck speed, giving credence to my theory that all Italian drivers want to be racing drivers.
It's been a tough day for both of us, but Kara especially. We have done a lot of walking today and it's taken it's toll. We're both in "Pigiami" and ready for bed, really. On the other hand though, it's been great day. Let's start at the beginning.
Another crappy night's sleep. I am covered in what I assume are mosquito bites. I kept hearing them fly next to my head in the night. A damned shame as the bed is quite comfy. Breakfast was the usual Italian "continental" affair; croissant, yoghurt etc. It's pretty nice to have what is essentially cake for breakfast and not be judged. Speaking of "breakfast cake"; we went to "Star Bene" so Kara could get something. She walked out with two cakes and we'd barely crossed the road before one was gone. As we walked into the central part of Firenze, we stopped at two unlikely spots: a "Mail Boxes etc" (Kara works at one over here in the UK) and an Italian "pound shop". *sighs* To be fair, the halloween section was much better than most back home. I will get some naff gifts for the guys at work in there tomorrow!
After our pit stops, we went on to Firenze's "Duomo". While less impressive from the outside than Milan's Duomo, I enjoyed it considerably more. The distinct lack of pushy salesmen and string may be a factor in this. The inside was quite something, too. A fresco that covers the roof of the cupola is astounding, while the crypts underneath speak of an era of history that has only been hinted at so far on this trip. The crypt is built into the bones of an even older church that was falling apart and was replaced by the present church in the early 1400s. Tombs of knights, saints and popes ( I believe) are present. It's very impressive. I will need to read up more when I return home.
The activity I had been dreading was Giotto's "Campanile" or bell-tower. It was a hell of a climb as a "broad man" in very tight spiral staircases. We climbed the first set of stairs and were surprised at how easy it had been. There were three more flights to go, of course. The view of Firenze from the top was incredible. You could see out for every direction as a terrace ran around the top. Sadly, people with no respect for history or craftsmanship had scrawled in pen or carved into the marble, "A ned was 'ere 2014" (I'm paraphrasing slightly here.) Utter twats. One did make me smile, mind you. It just said...
"Russian Hooligans, 2014."
After the bell-tower, we went hunting for "Deanna's gluten-free cafe" to see if we could find Kara some lunch. We found it but the menu wasn't great for Kara. The guy behind the counter was great, however. After apologizing to two bumbling tourists because his "English was bad", he annotated a map with two or three GF places we could try. He is now Kara's patron saint. We went for lunch at one of these places; a little restaurant called "La Gratella". It was very nice, but Kara was still a little short of finishing her bowl of pasta. Italian food isn't cheap, but it's good quality and you get plenty of it.
After a visit to an amazing indoor foodmarket called "Mercato Centrale", which was like a mall foodcourt if Harvey Nicols ran it, we visited "Santa Maria Novello" as it was nearby and on our list of places to visit. It was nice and old, in a Catholic churchy kinda way. I feel like I have been spoiled by the Duomos. I honestly think I should have worked up to them, as I wasn't so impressed here. Just in case we hadn't seen enough pictures of Jesus, we decided to go to the Uffizi gallery. Now I'm no art critic, but the clasical themes of "The life and deaths of JC" are bloody boring after a while. It's like going to read an Avengers comic and finding out that it's just page after page of Hulk dialogue. It's something that warrants some time spent on it, sure, but change it up. Eventually, Jesus images should show him doing cool shit like...smashing helicopters out of the air. I guess Marvel comics were hard to find during the Renaissance.
Ridiculous comparisons aside, the gallery was quite nice. I observed some "HD images" including Boticelli's "The Birth of Venus" and Caravaggio's "Frickin' awesome severed head of Medusa on a shield" (I think that's the correct name, at least.) Kara was quite distraught for a while as it seemed like the Caravaggio exhibits were closed. It all turned out to be fine though, and we had a wander through the town on the way to "Accademia" where the statue of David is. We found a "Scottish Jock" bar that is ran by a Chinese couple. We spoke to a pissed up American woman who told us how good the whisky was, before telling us she'd been drinking Jameson. Urgh.
By the time we arrived, Accademia had closed for the night. We resolved to come and see David tomorrow and went for dinner at the "OK Bar". The name seems apt, as neither Kara nor myself were too impressed with their pizzas. It was fairly cheap, though.
Kara is in bed now, having pushed herself quite hard today. Tomorrow's plan includes sending postcards, topping up the cash-card (Italy is hella expensive, yo.), eating breakfast cake, Galileo's museum, Leonardo's museum, David and the Accademia, Ponte Vecchio and hopefully safe travels to our last city on the trip: Roma!
Definitely a marked improvement from our time in Milan and Modena. Florence is probably my favourite place that we visited. The people are almost universally beautiful, everyone seems friendly, the architecture and city layout makes all of the street seem like back-alleys but many of them are bustling with activity and almost all of them end with piazzas that are filled with some of the most incredibly beautiful buildings and sculptures I have ever seen. The history nerd in me loves that as you walk along, you never know what's around the corner. I know it's cliché but it's a city full of hidden surprises. I have learned to appreciate this aspect in Edinburgh and wished we had more time in Florence to explore all of the nooks and crannies.
There's certainly an intensity to Italian culture that is reflected in how they do things. We saw so many sharply dressed businessmen and women driving around at high speed on scooters, with 1950s racing style helmets on. It was pretty cool, and there's definitely a foundation for the stereotype of the well dressed Italian, showing up on a scooter. As the social hermits that Kara and I are, it was a little bit jarring to see how sociable and outgoing Italy can be. We like to stay in, and while I would like to think that I cook good food for us, we have functional meals then enjoy our free time in a different way; perhaps with a snack and a little drink of juice. Italian eating habits lend themselves to meeting up at 5 for a little bite or a coffee, then sitting outside talking until midnight. It's a romantic notion, but considering Kara can't drink and I barely drink, as well as being on a deadline and trying to stick to a budget, it was never going to be something we did.
Star Bene, at the northeast end of Viale Spartaco Lavagnini, close to Piazza Della Liberta is now Kara's favourite bakery, hands down. We went here again the next day, and Kara raved about this place all through the holiday. It's not cheap, but everything looks good and the range of food runs to savoury tarts too. (Not that it was enough to sway Kara, of course.)
I feel bad that I wasn't able to get anyone any gifts from Italy. We were both living out of a medium suitcase and we were beginning to appreciate that it was going to cost a lot to see everything we wanted to on this trip. The Italian "pound shop" had some cool little halloween things, but at this point we were still buying bottles of water regularly, just trying to keep hydrated due to the heat and the walking we were doing. My Aunt had told us that there are water fountains dotted throughout most major Italian cities that dispense cold, clean water. Milan had one or two that we found, but it was in Florence that we really started to come across them regularly. We saved a lot of money and time, not having to find bottled water to drink all the time. Many of the fountains are quite plain, with a steady flow, while other look hundreds of years old and are works of art in themselves. A great element of travelling in Italian cities.
The Firenze Duomo (Basilica Santa Maria di Fiore) is gorgeous, as well as old. The sculptures and frescos really are something else. It's a strange feeling to be looking at something and thinking to yourself that not only is this painting beautiful, it's also hundreds of years old. The crypt underneath the church was impressive, housing sarcophagi that put me in mind of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade. I don't think they would have been too happy if I'd started prying off the lid to take a pencil rubbing of the shield of the knight that lay inside. There was even a spooky little alcove that looked like it may have been an ossuary as it contained a skull in a case. Kara was immediately interested of course. The floor of the medieval church that had become the crypt was preserved in parts, with mosaics that were basic but still very nice. Parts of the original architecture were preserved, but it was clear that it was very old. It's nice that the church have chosen to preserve what used to lie in here, as many other sites (especially in Rome) speak of them destroying or misappropriating that which they found "heretical".
Edinburgh is a gorgeous city that I would recommend to anyone to visit, but it comes to life at night in my opinion. It sometimes feels a bit like Gotham city; dark and mysterious. Florence, in contrast, is gorgeous during the day and almost seems lit by fairy-lights at night. There are old street lamps that light up the roads in the older parts of town, with the buildings often being soft pastel shades of ochre. The red rooftops that I ran around on top of as Ezio from the "Assassin's Creed" series of videogames dominated the view from the top of Giotto's Campanile. After climbing 414 steps, Kara and I enjoyed the blustery breeze at the top, as well as the view. It's quite a beautiful old city, with a much prettier skyline than Milan. I was disappointed to see the graffiti at the top, but I guess I should have expected it. We visited the Battistero across the courtyard after coming back down. It had several statues accredited to Donatello. Upon seeing them and knowing that we were going to be visiting the Uffizi later, I resolved to complete my "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" collection by seeing a painting or sculpture by Leonardo, Raphael, Michaelangelo and Donatello. Even if this is a travel blog, it's difficult to keep the nerd factor at bay.
Mercato Centrale is an amazing place. It's like a modern version of an old food market. It's full of lots of little bakeries, restaurants, organic food shops, butchers, fishmongers, bars and greengrocers. There was nothing specifically gluten-free here, just a really nice market. I was somewhat glad that we'd both just eaten, as everything looked amazing.
Hamfisted similes aside, I really did find myself getting bored of seeing pictures of Jesus in his different states. I know, I know, it's from a time where the church paid a lot of very good artists to create artwork for them, while wealthy patrons tried to buy their way into heaven by decorating their homes with christian artwork. It's just quite repetitive, with scenes such as the nativity, crucifiction and the resurrection being depicted time and time again. The Medusa shield is incredible, though. The colours seem so vibrant, despite the age of the piece. It's no doubt abundantly clear that I am not the most reverent when it comes to art, but I did enjoy myself at the Uffizi, especially in the small section of ancient roman artifacts. There was a very cool sarcophagus that depicted the heroic acts of Hercules that was exciting to find.
"Forza Michael" - Day 3: Modena to Florence (via Maranello)
We travel to Florence, via the home of Ferrari.
Journal Entry 00.20 (technically day 4)
Hotel Villa Il Castagno - Firenze
So, I finished the last post with a note on how good the crisps were in Milan. I guess my love of crisps and Kara's boundless enthusiasm for potatoes made it "low hanging fruit". I had intended to continue writing but it all went downhill after the last words in the previous post. The train to Modena was a bit jumpy and the general mood dropped when we saw our room. Kara had warned me that it didn't look great in the photos, but it was cheap. The people were nice, but the room had flaky paint and a generally dingy look. The upshot is that I didn't really get a chance to write last night.
Our walk from Modena Stazione to "Hotel San Geminiano" was somewhat hurried, as it was very dark, with many "youths" around. Last night I found myself wanting to just hail a cab as I am sick of hauling the suitcase behind me. I feel like we are "backpacking" as we are always smelly and unkempt. So we had another "Prima Colazione" where Kara had to sit and watch me eat. No parma ham for me this morning, but I had a nutella filled croissant and all was well. Kara didn't sleep very well, sadly, so we were a bit sluggish on the way out the door. After a power-march through downtown Modena, with Kara in full "tifosi" attire, we arrived at the bus station two minutes too late. Disappointed, we sat down and waited for the next one. During the wait, Kara and I discussed how even the students dress better than us! As well as fashion, we also observed a march, relating to the Gaza bombing/occupation etc.
After an uneventful bus journey, we arrived on the outskirts of "Ferrari-town": Maranello. The heat had begun to climb into the twenties by this point and the weight I was dragging was making me cranky. After a short hunt, we found "De Museo Ferrari". Now, I'm neither a Ferrari fan or a long time F1 fan, but the place is impressive. Everything in the town is Ferrari, from the modern Ferraris parked up, waiting to be test driven to the tarmac itself in the carpark of the museum.
Kara was clearly excited and once again, it was great to see her light up at the sight of the Maranello test track from the bus. The museum was spectacular, showcasing elements of the history of Ferrari in F1, modern F1 telemetry and technology, multi-discipline racing cars and a mix of new and classic Ferrari roadcars. We also took a trip to see the "prancing pony" sculpture but we couldn't approach it without running over motorway. The heat had continued to rise and Kara struggled with it. I sweat a lot, but I can go on. I worry what Roma will do to us both.
I think the highlight of Maranello was seeing Kara in the "hall of victories", next to a range of championship winning F1 cars. 40-50% of them said "Schumacher" on the side. I know the reminders of him upset Kara, but I think pride won out in the end. Ferrari have a pit-board in the museum lobby that says...
"Forza Michael."
After almost missing our bus back to Modena, we returned in time to catch our train to Florence. Still a little "ripe" from a day in the sun, we sat in first class, next to a very nosy woman who just stared at Kara's tattoos. I made the mistake of wearing my jacket on the bus to the hotel. I have never sweated like that outside a sauna, gym or fever. Not fun.
The hotel is not too bad. We have a wet room, which is nice. It's still very warm here, so I hope we will sleep ok. We stepped out for dinner, after preparing the maps for the next couple of days. Florence is all narrow streets and beautiful people, much as I imagined it would be. We found three gluten-free spots for Kara and went out. The "Clubhouse" had no gluten-free pasta or pizza, but Kara had steak and (surprise) potatoes. Despite a slightly better diet today, Kara left 1/4 of the meal to finish. I was happy to oblige.
It's getting late. Time for bed. Buona notte!
So that post covers quite a lot of geographical distance. From Modena to Maranello, then back to Modena again so we could catch our train to Florence. We arrived in Modena late and left early, which made it difficult for me to feed myself, never mind someone with Kara's eating habits. I have absolutely no gluten-free recommendations for Modena I'm afraid. The journal doesn't mention the little cafe where we were able to find Kara her breakfast/lunch, which was right next to the Ferrari museum. I was very relieved when we found out that we could do grilled chicken fillet for Kara, as I knew that she hadn't eaten a proper meal since Cookwindow the day before. I'm fairly certain that at this point, she was running on these Nairns Oaty biscuits that I once jokingly referred to as "Lembas" (one for the Lord of The Rings nerds out there) as she only ever seems to manage one before I'm asked to hold onto the rest of the packet. Funnily enough, despite plenty of hunger on Kara's part, we still came home with a packet of them. Anyway, the cafe is just across the car park from the museum and has lots of cool F1 memorabilia on the walls.
The hotel in Modena wasn't that bad. It was just a very sparse 2 star establishment. The people who worked there were very nice and helpful and the breakfast was something that drove home just how much Italians love to have cake for breakfast. It was on this day that I searched for the meaning of the term "La Dolce Vita" which translates as "The sweetness of live" or "The Good Life." During my trip, it became obvious to me that Italians value their free time in a way that lends itself to eating cake, drinking wine and really perfecting what they like to eat. It also became abundantly clear that they will put Nutella in anything. Kara doesn't like hazelnut, so sadly she was unable to join in, but later on in Florence, we find gluten-free cake that made her make animal noises as she ate it. The night that we actually stayed in Modena was pretty rough for us though, with Kara being very hungry and all but the corner shops being closed. She went to bed early, while I went out into a strange town to look for food. In the little corner shop, I spied bread. It would have to do, but what to put on it? It makes me nauseous to think that I went with "Kraft cheese slices" in the absence of anything resembling sandwich meat or cheese. I couldn't eat it. That's when I reached into my bag to pull out two little sachets of Nutella that Kara had mocked me for taking from our breakfast table that morning. Nutella - breakfast and supper of champions.
Kara gets dressed up in Ferrari gear for most big races, and the cap she's had since she was a very young girl is on for every race, but following her through Modena, she was dressed all in scarlet with her Ferrari tattoo on show. You'd never have guessed she was starving. I am normally being berated for walking too fast, but with the suitcase holding me back, I was trying to stay on Kara's heels as the lure of Maranello must have been calling to her. Missing our bus was a pain, and in the end it gave us some stress as we were very short of time in Maranello, but I am so glad we went. The whole experience was very fun for me, despite the baking sun, heavy case and feeling the after-effects of having tried espresso for the first time that morning. (I'm still not convinced that Coffee is as amazing as people say). I have only started enjoying F1 in the last two years, as I thought it would be nice for us to share one of Kara's hobbies. One of the reasons that she's never left the country is that her family would go to Silverstone for the British GP instead. Having visited her family home in rural Perthshire, I struggle to see why you would want to go anywhere else to relax, mind you. The nerd in me was excited to see the mechanical and technological elements of the Ferrari museum, while I knew that I was also going to visit a place steeped in F1 history. As someone who has been watching F1 for much longer than I have, as well as being a Ferrari fan, I can only guess at how special it was for Kara.
The museum is a showroom of sorts, with a progression from Ferrari's early days, through to the modern era. It contains a theatre that shows many known instances of Ferraris in the movies, and has a somewhat creepy Enzo Ferrari statue, sat in his office. There is a cool little display, showing the evolution of Ferrari's F1 cars in miniature form. There's also many concept and prototype cars that look almost space-age. I don't know which one I liked more, as they were all so beautiful.
The reason we were there was to see the F1 exhibit. The "Hall of Victories". It was spectacular, with a semi-circular dais that displayed several of Ferrari's driver and constructor championship winning cars from the last 15 years or so. Schumacher, Massa, Raikkonen and Barichello all had at least one of their cars there. The back wall was taken up with just some of the silverware the team has won during their time in F1, with a display case below it that had a little section for each of their championship winning drivers. Each driver's picture was there, with their helmet on a little plinth inside the case. There was also a small chamber where visitors could stand inside and select specific F1 car noises from particular periods. It was sort of the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank, being assaulted by the sound of these amazing machines. For those reading who might not be aware of why reminders of Schumacher might be upsetting, he is Kara's sporting hero and almost a year ago he sustained a massive head injury which has meant he hasn't gone in front of the public since. Despite no longer being a Ferrari driver, the "Forza Michael" sign in the lobby is just one way of seeing how deep his connections are to Ferrari. He is beloved by Ferrari fans.
The travelling to Firenze wasn't great, but it wasn't too bad either. The cabins were air conditioned and Italian trains are a fraction of the price of British trains. We travelled from Milan to Rome by train over the course of the trip and spent around £60 for both of us. I don't think £60 will get you a return to Aberdeen these days. Italian trains are pretty good.
Ok, so lastly, the gluten-free section of this post. The Clubhouse (Via Dè Ginori, 6, 50129 Firenze) in Florence might well be my favourite restaurant we visited in the whole trip. It's difficult to judge the gluten-free offering as they were all out of both pizza and pasta when we visited. All I can tell you is that my pizza and Kara's steak were delicious. I would not say I'm a big fan of pizza unless it's done properly, and that means the place must have a log-burning oven. This place not only has a log-burning oven, but it has a specialist pizza chef or "Pizzaiolo" that made me an amazing pizza. It's a bit on the premium side, with all of the little extras costing around €5 or so. We spent around €50 in there on our first night, but I think it would have cost more in the UK to have food of that quality. So yes, I mentioned pizza again. I assure you, it's going to come up before this travel blog is finished.
Next up, our first proper day in Firenze. One of my new favourite places.
"Pizza Hunters" - Day 2: Milan to Modena
The hunt for pizza is on. *Spoilers* We find one! Also, contains some pretty mild bashing of religion. Read at your own discretion.
Journal Entry Day 2: Milan to Modena
08.52 - "Hotel New York" - Milan
Not a great night. It seems that the hotel ran out of pillows to we got slabs of granite. Pretty loud outside too, with the Centrale Stazione right there. Italian driving is something else; they don't hold back on the horn and it's just constant bedlam. Also, pedestrian crossings are more risky over here, as it's more of a "go for it" mentality for both driver and pedestrian. Breakfast was delicioso, but we had to settle for a couple of sweetened peaches for Kara. Here's hoping today's outing goes better.
17.50 - Centrale Stazione - Milan
So we've seen the Dumo and some more of Milano. The Duomo is impressive from the outside and quite lavish on the inside. Many of the features inside are geared towards tourists, but there is a confessional that was in operation during our visit.
As well as still being an active church, there are two embalmed bishops/cardinals that lie in one of the corners of the church itself. There was also the remains of a 16th century saint, interred in a crypt underneath. It was a bit odd; walking past an old glass coffin with a dead guy in it. The whole thing is somewhat tarnished by my views on the Catholic church, as there was the traditional "collection for the poor" while they charge for everything. I understand that it's not free to keep a church in good repair, but it bothers me to see such opulence next to such poverty.
We rode the Milan metro to get into town, after yesterday's fiasco and a bad night's sleep. It was pretty damn toasty, what with Mr Jesus' "no shorts, no shoulders" rule taking effect. Kara and I also went into the Ferrari shop, as it just didn't feel right not to. We both looked at lots of very expensive stuff, as well as quite a lot of utter tat...which was also quite pricey now that I consider it.
Milan seems to be a city under renovation. So many crane arms can be seen in the skyline, while many older buildings are covered with dustsheets and scaffolding. We saw a fair amount of Milan's skyline and despite a few steeples, it's mostly boring office blocks and highrise flats. Even the roof of the Duomo is being fixed and it's easy to see the "new " and "old" bits as they are positioned right next to each other. I think I was most impressed from the street level, looking up at Il Duomo. Every sculpture is exquisitely crafted, the doors themselves being works of art.
After Il Duomo, we headed for "San Bernardino Alle Ossa": an old church with an ossuary in the wings. Kara was beside herself with joy at the sight of what must be 1,000 skulls. There are what looks like arm and leg bones in with them, and they form a macabre but impressive sight. I think Kara was able to move Milan from "not for me" to "OMG!", at least for a little while.
We also were able to find Kara gluten free pizza. Sadly, after yesterday's stomach shrinking food shortage, she wasn't able to finish it. I tried to help, but to no avail. After a wee walk on the grounds of the Castello Sforzesco, we took a train back to Stazione Centrale, where I am writing this. I was in the mood to experiment, so I paid €6 for an "aperitivo". Basically, you buy a drink and get a free buffet. I had some amazing antipasti and reminded myself that I don't like beer. Kara looked folorn and hungry, so I went to pick up some crisps so she could pinch them from my plate. They looked just like kettle chips, but they were these incredible hand made gourmet crisps. There was a moment when we both into into a new batch to discover they were still warm and we just locked eyes and went "mmmm!"
Ok, so I apologise that I am complaining about a bad night's sleep. For the sake of a blog, it's not strictly relevant, but it was very much on my mind at the time. The point about Italian driving being a crazy free-for-all certainly holds true throughout all of the cities we visited. I will mention it in later posts, but Italian drivers are all auditioning to be racecar drivers. This extends to the motorbike and scooter riders who whizz past buses at full speed, often with pillion passengers. It makes crossing the road a potentially terrifying experience. A red or green light doesn't mean quite the same over here. It's more of a "if you're gonna go, go now" or "for the love of God, do not even attempt to cross now" kind of deal. This applies to both driver and pedestrian, so you need to be assertive but cautious when crossing the road. For the first few days, I still had a hard time trying to predict Italian traffic, partly due to them driving on the opposite side to the UK, but also because they have tiny little offshoot roads, and Milan seemed to have places where the road was actually two roads next to each other (as in traffic going left, right, left right if you were looking from one pavement across to the other).
I suppose I should elaborate on my thoughts regarding the Catholic church. As we booked our flights and trains etc, I knew that many of the sites we'd want to visit were owned by the Catholic church. My criticisms were undoubtedly nothing that your average Catholic hasn't heard before and I don't want to upset anyone who's reading this. It boils down to me being a cynic about the goings on behind closed doors. I don't think being a Catholic is bad, and I don't universally condemn religion, but the real-life outcome is brought into sharp focus when you visit a country that still feels very Catholic. While we were visiting, we were able to gleam a little bit of the debate in the news regarding the Catholic church's stance on homosexuality. The outcome didn't seem particularly positive, but I suppose it's good to see that the current Pope (who becomes a much more prominent figure once we get to Rome) is trying to discuss it publicly, giving it acknowledgement. I think my cynicism really came to a head when I saw the juxtaposition of the poverty on the streets of Milan, paired with the Duomo's "poor box" right next to the "restoration of the Duomo" box, while we were charged just to climb some stairs to the roof. It just seemed to coalesce with the stories of priests who drive Ferraris but extoll the virtues of modesty and a simple life to form a picture that gets under my skin. I know it's my choice to go in there, and I know there are good and bad examples for every faith (or atheism for that matter) but looking up at the astonishing Duomo and knowing that I was about to give money to an organisation I neither trust nor support gave me pause for thought.
The shops of Milan are many, but from my point of view, there's only maybe 5 or 6 major themes to the shops. We weren't really interested in any of them, as we were on a pretty tight budget (which we only really appreciated in the last couple of days) and we had little to no space at all in our luggage. It felt like walking around a procedurally generated videogame world, filled with the same storefronts. You have gelato counters, bars/restaurants, super-expensive designer clothes that mostly seem to look like they're for old ladies, slightly less expensive clothes shop that sell leather everything (which is ironic, as all of the people in there looked like they had leather skin), sandwich shops that taunted my girlfriend that just wanted a gluten-free cheese toastie and last of all; shoe shops. The only one of these we were interested in was the gelato counter, and Kara's lactose-free diet meant we were looking out for those that sold sorbet (or "granite" in Italian).
San Bernardino Alle Ossa was incredible. Creepy as hell, mind you, but a real marvel. Italy's churches don't hold back the macabre elements of the faith they teach. From the hundreds of skulls on display in the ossuary to the entombed bodies we saw at the Duomo, it's evident that the death element of Catholicism is not overlooked in the slightest in Italy.
The place we went for lunch in Milan was a restaurant that was a little out of the way called Cookwindow at Amatore Sciesa. Kara was pleasantly surprised with her first taste of Italian gluten-free pizza. It gave us some hope for our future travels.
By the end of this day, we had travelled to Modena as well, but for reasons that will be fairly apparent in the next post, I wasn't able to address them until what was technically day 4. I guess the outcome of our trip to Milan was that we made the best of it, and that if you are eating gluten-free then plan ahead for Milan as the city centre makes no accommodations for coeliacs.
"But I've been places!" - Day 1: Edinburgh To Milan
We fly out to Milan. It's...not the best part of the trip.
Journal EntryDay 1: Edinburgh To Milano
10.36 PM - "Hotel New York" - Milan
A red letter day! Kara's first ever flight and my first time abroad in almost 15 years! Kara was visibly bouncing with excitement as the bus approached the airport. Seeing the planes taking off and landing appeared to be too much for her.
Once we got to the concourse, I was hit in the face with the smell of perfume. I'm guessing that it's the smell of "international air travel." After today, neither Kara nor I smell like perfume! At security, Kara's excitement transformed into anxiety as she was faced with rules that were new and scary, but I guess that after a short while, she was fine. Her shipping job has prepared her for this kinda thing.
Once we were aboard, the excitement returned. I was happy just to watch Kara bounce in her chair. She got the window seat, so she had her face stuck to the glass, watching other planes take off. When it was our turn, it was great to see the grin on her face. I had forgotten how it feels to lift off like that. The flight wasn't too bad and we arrived about twenty minutes early. We went through passport control but to our disappointment, we didn't get our passports stamped. Kinda sad about that one. Kara exclaimed "But I've been places!" Still, we're here in Milan now.
So the bus from Malpensa to Milano was kinda depressing. It's very industrial and modern, with lots of factories. Not particularly pleasant. We found our hotel and it's not too bad. It sort of overlooks Centrale Stazione; where we'll be leaving for Modena tomorrow.
Milan itself is...not great, at least for us. We came to Italy for food, art, history and architecture (and Ferrari, some might say). Today's main "quest" was to feed Kara and Milan was extremely disappointing in that regard. I was reminded of the evening early in our relationship where we traveled over most of Edinburgh to feed Kara. Despite the setting, we didn't have a romantic a time as I hadn't eaten since breakfast and Kara had only eaten junk food. We were eventually saved by a young girl who showed Kara she could have...and I'm not joking here; roast beef and potatoes. This is an improvement on the plan that Kara had originally, which was Burger King fries. Milan is a mother-hubbard for coeliacs.
Personally, I had one goal food-wise in Milan: Panzerotti from "Luini's". I achieved that goal...twice! It's a bit like someone made a pizza croissant then fried it. Bellisimo!
While I'm sure Milan has some great art, (The Last Supper is in Milan) I don't think we're going to see it, sadly. I am a tad worried that we never will, as I have no great compulsion to return. As for "history and architecture", the Duomo in Milan is incredible. It is enormously impressive and beautiful. Sadly, it is under renovation in parts which leaves it with scaffolding all over it. To be honest, this pales in comparison to the huge banners for designer shops and perfumes. It's disappointing to see it on such a wonderful structure.
Another unfortunate aspect of Milan which we will undoubtedly encounter again on our trip; is the con-artists and shysters that prowl around the scenic parts, preying on unsuspecting tourists. The like to sell little bits of coloured string by forcing you to take one, then charging you for it. One of them equated me not wanting to take a bracelet to me "hating Africa". The other told me that Glasgow Celtic is his favourite team. I struggle to believe that.
We're back at the hotel now. Kara is trying to sleep so I guess I should too. It's off to see Il Duomo tomorrow, then perhaps a graveyard or a tomb? (Kara would be a curious, if somewhat squeemish Tomb Raider). After Milan, it's Modena as a little "pit-stop" before Maranello. (See what I did there?)
Signing off for day 1. Perhaps I will dream of Panzerotti!
So that was day 1. Looking back now after the trip, I am a tad disappointed that we had such a bad time in Milan. We only ended up visiting as our cheapest flight landed in Milan and we wanted to do something while we were there. I'm glad we went in the end, Il Duomo was beautiful as were some of the other sights that we glimpsed in Milan. We don't have many pictures from the first day, as we were supremely paranoid (and perhaps justifiably so) of someone snatching an iphone or camera from us. I know it makes us sound like typical sheltered tourists, but I want to stress that the worst and most aggressive con-artists we encountered in Italy were working in the square beside Il Duomo. One of them forced us to engage with him by placing a piece of coloured string on Kara's shoulder, meaning she could either shake it off onto the floor or use her hand to pick it up. Before we knew what was happening, the guy had clipped two onto her wrist and was essentially begging for money. These guys hang around in big groups and it was actually impossible to stand still for more than 30 seconds without being harassed by these "string salesmen" as we took to calling them. Combined with a lacklustre dinner and the feeling that eating in Italy might not be so easy, I wrote this journal piece quite downtrodden.
On the other hand, it was nice to reflect on Kara's first flying experience, as well as encountering someone with enough of a brass-neck to claim that Celtic is his favourite football team while he's standing in the middle of Milan (my limited football knowledge tells me that Milan has good football teams) and expect me to believe him. He was from Senegal, apparently. The other positive from day 1 was Panzerotti. Sweet baby Jebus, that is some good food. I did feel bad eating it, especially as Kara was very hungry and we were both in quite a bad mood by this point. When I found this location, I knew I was going to have to stop to have one. Panzerotti is like a miniature calzone, but the ones I had were made from a buttery dough, like a croissant or an Aberdonian "roll". The usual pizza toppings take up the inside, and they taste amazing. Kara must have hated watching me pull away big strings of mozzarella with every bite. I wolfed them down like a starving man.
Apologies that the first post is a bit of a downer, but I promise, things do get better!
Il viaggio verso l'Italia (The Voyage To Italy)
An intro to my travel blog for Italy.
Hello there, one and all. Welcome to my new blog. In the future, this place will most likely host the often nerdy, sometimes insightful and occasionally personal thoughts that I have. For the next few posts, however, I will be covering the time that Kara and I have spent in Italy this last fortnight. As much as this is a personal project for me, to help me keep my writing up to scratch, I also aim to inform any of my friends or family who are travelling to Italy with someone who is unable (or unwilling) to eat many different types of food. Perhaps it will be useful for any readers who are coeliacs, as well as people who have somewhat inhibitive tastes.
Our trip to Italy has been on the books for some months now, and we were both very excited to travel. This would be my first trip out of the U.K since I was 11 and it would be Kara's first time on a plane, never mind outside of the country. One of the aspects of Italy that I was most excited about was the food. (I'm sure you'll all be surprised to discover) So, while I was considering how excited I was to try proper Italian food, I couldn't help but worry about Kara and her gluten intolerance. We researched it quite a bit, and found that because much of Italy's diet (pizza/pasta) was made from wheat, Italy actually screen their children for gluten-intolerance and have a better cultural awareness of the illness. This did buoy our hopes for feeding Kara out there. My dream of eating like a pig wasn't quite so far away! (It's difficult to gorge with a pair of big blue eyes staring at you, quietly judging) Having spoken to my coeliac Aunt about going to Rome, we were in good spirits about the chances of being able to eat a good meal.
What we hadn't accounted for was the culture of eating in Italy and how it meshes with Kara's eating habits. Kara doesn't do "cold savoury" for the most part. Before anyone says "What? Even..." Yes. Even that. Sandwiches, cold meats and most cheeses are straight off the menu. This can make Italy hella difficult when it comes to feeding anyone never mind someone who can't eat wheat without feeling very ill. We discovered this on day 1.
As well as a culinary journey, we were also super excited to travel to a country with such amazing culture and ancient history. Our trip to Maranello was inspired by something less ancient, but still very impressive.
I will break down my travels in the next couple of posts, covering our travels from Edinburgh to Milan first, then our voyage through northern Italy. First Modena, then Maranello, onto Florence and ending in Rome. I'll post my journal entries from during the day, then add more comments afterwards, including any pertinent notes for trying to survive gluten-free in Italy.
If you've made it down to here, thank you for humouring me.
-Ross